Law Offices of Debra S. Bereck, P.C. - New City New York Family Law Lawyer
Law Offices of Debra S. Bereck, P.C. - New City New York Family Law Lawyer
Call: 845-634-4505









Types of divorce

Different Types of Divorcedisagreement


DIVORCE: ALTERNATIVE METHODS

I. MEDIATION:

  A. Choose this option if:

  1. You are able to communicate with one another
  2. You wish to settle your differences in a neutral atmosphere.
  3. You and your spouse wish to cooperate on the solutions to your divorce issues. litigation
  4. You want to negotiate your differences between yourselves, with the aid of a mediator.
  5. Neither party has the "upper hand" in the negotiation process.
  6. There is not an ongoing situation of abuse, mental or physical.

  B. The process:

  1. You will retain a mediator, who may or may not be an attorney.
  2. You will meet for approximately one or two hours at a time. How frequently and how long the meetings are will be determined by you, your spouse and the mediator.
  3. With the mediator's assistance, you and your spouse will discuss issues, such as support, distribution of property, health insurance, custody and education. You come to a mutual decision or compromise on these topics.
  4. The mediator will then write up an Agreement.
  5. Each of you will take the Agreement to an attorney of your choice to look it over.
  6. The Agreement is signed and the divorce papers submitted

II. COLLABORATIVE LAW

  A. Choose this option if:

  1. You are able to communicate with one-another
  2. You wish to settle your differences in a neutral atmosphere.
  3. You and your spouse want to cooperate on the solution to your divorce issues.
  4. You want to negotiate your differences with the aid of your own attorney to protect your rights and to assure that the process is fair to you.
  5. Any past abuse has ended.

  B. The process

  1. You and your spouse each retain an attorney who is trained in Collaborative Law. Your attorney will explain the collaborative process to you, tell you all of your options in pursuing a divorce, and will explain your legal rights to you.
  2. You and your attorney, will meet with your spouse and his/her attorney. You will all sign an agreement which states that you will negotiate a settlement without going to Court.
  3. The attorneys will ask you to determine which issues you agree upon (custody? marital home? Etc.)
  4. The issues that still need to be addressed will be discussed among you, your spouse, and your attorneys.
  5. Each attorney is there to protect your rights. However, both attorneys will assure that you and your spouse negotiate fairly.
  6. All negotiations are open. At each meeting one of the attorneys will take the minutes of that meeting. The minutes will be typed up and e-mailed to you, your spouse and the other attorney. You will all have a chance to comment on or change them.
  7. When an issue (ex sell or stay in Marital home) is settled, it is put into the form of an Agreement. Again, everything is e-mailed and commented upon.
  8. No decision is final until all of the issues have been addressed and written into the form of an agreement. Nothing will be put in the Agreement which you do not okay.
  9. Once the agreement is finished, signed and notarized, one of the attorneys will put the divorce papers into the Court to be signed.
  10. Meetings are for one or two hours, usually every other week. However, the frequency of the meetings is determined by the progress you and your spouse are making, and emotionally, how fast you can go.
  11. In collaborative law, the process goes only as fast as the slowest person. You will not be rushed into making decisions, nor will you be allowed to push your spouse into making decisions until he/she fully understands and is comfortable with a decision.

III. LITIGATION (traditional divorce process)

  A. Choose this option if:

  1. You and your spouse are unable to communicate
  2. You think your spouse is taking unfair advantage of you and want the Courts or lawyers to settle issues.
  3. You are unwilling or unable to sit in the same room with your spouse.
  4. There has been physical abuse more than once.
  5. You are too angry to negotiate with your spouse.
  6. You need immediate help financially or for physical safety.

  B. The process:

  1. You retain an attorney who will serve your spouse with divorce papers.
  2. Your spouse will retain an attorney who will respond to the accusations in the papers.
  3. Your attorney and the other attorney may communicate by mail in order to determine the issues which must be settled.
  4. Your attorney or your spouse's attorney will try to settle the issues either by mail or by all the parties getting together.
  5. If you and your attorney cannot settle with your spouse and his/her attorney, you go to Court to get a "discovery schedule". At the first Court date, you tell the Judge the issues which are unresolved (custody? Support?). The Judge then gives a schedule for discovery.
  6. For discovery, each attorney sends a comprehensive list of documents which you must produce so that your financial position can be determined.
  7. You and your spouse meet at one of the attorney's offices either together or separately. There will be a stenographer there who will have you swear to tell the truth. Your spouse's attorney will then question you on your finances. Everything is transcribed by the stenographer and can be used if it is necessary for you to go to trial.
  8. If one spouse is not forthcoming with information about all his or her finances, it will be necessary to subpoena bank records, business records, etc. You might need an accountant to go over these records and evaluate them. This will be included in the equity to be distributed between you and your spouse.
  9. You might have pensions, degrees, licenses and businesses evaluated. This will all also be included in the amount of equity to be distributed between you and your spouse.
  10. If, after all attempts to negotiate, you and your spouse are still unable to come to a settlement, there will be a trial and a judge will determine the distribution of assets and possibly, custody.

WHAT YOU MUST CONSIDER:

Do you really want a divorce?
Have you tried marital counseling?
Temporary separation?
Consult with an attorney-know your rights.

Debra S. Bereck, Attorney at Law
120-126 North Main Street
New City, NY 10956
Phone: 845-634-4505
Fax: 845-638-9175
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