The cost of divorce

What is the Cost of Divorce?

A. FINANCIALLY: "What will this cost me?"

1. Matrimonial attorneys charge by the hour. Depending upon where you live in New York State, your attorney's fee can be anywhere from $200.00 per hour to $600.00 per hour.

2. Matrimonial attorneys generally do not have a set fee. An attorney may be able to estimate a cost based on the facts presented to her by the client. The cost of a divorce depends on:

i. The type of divorce the parties choose (mediation, collaborative, litigation).

ii. How cooperative the parties are. If one party constantly wants to thwart the other, more time will be spent and the cost will increase.

iii.Assets to be divided; these may be quite extensive and need to be disclosed and/or appraised before an Agreement can be formulated.

B. EMOTIONALLY: "What will this cost me?"

1. Divorce always takes a toll on your emotions and self-esteem.

2. A good attorney tries to safeguard her client's emotions by carefully explaining the process and the ramifications, advising how to proceed and when it's time to settle.

3. After a while, there is a "diminishing return". The emotional cost and the possible harm to your children and self esteem must be considered very carefully when considering whether to continue to fight or to come to an Agreement and move on.

C. TIME

1. Depending upon how quickly you and your spouse can agree on the issues, a divorce can take as little as one month (depending on how long it takes the judge to sign the papers). Some acrimonious divorces have been known to go on for years.

2. It is important to remember that you have invested a lot of your time, emotions and energy into your marriage. Your spouse must have some positive characteristics, or you would not have married her or him. Try to remember this. Some divorces last longer than the marriage. It is costly, and can waste valuable time you need to rebuild your life.

D. YOUR CHILDREN: "What will it cost them?"

1. You must be careful not to place an emotional burden on your children.

2. Our goal, at all times, is to safeguard your children while you are going through the divorce.

i. Do not use your children as an emotional crutch.

ii. Do not discuss finances with them.

iii. Do not say anything disparaging about the other parent either to your children or within their hearing.

iv. Do not cut off a child's contact with the other parent. Encourage visitation and contact between the child and the other parent.

v. Do not ask a child to spy for you, or to pass messages back and forth.

3. Your child will have questions. Answer them as truthfully as you can, in an age appropriate manner, without frightening him or disparaging the other parent. This is a time when you are frightened and upset. Do not pass this on to your child.

4. Your attorney will help you to decide how to communicate information to your child.

WHAT YOU MUST CONSIDER:

Do you really want a divorce?
Have you tried marital counseling?
Temporary separation?
Consult with an attorney-know your rights.

Debra S. Bereck, Attorney at Law
120-126 North Main Street
New City, NY 10956
Phone: 845-634-4505
Fax: 845-638-9175
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